“We have a problem,” said a teacher as she stepped into my office with a look of frustration and exhaustion. She went on to explain a conflict that had been simmering between several staff members. Relationships were strained, feelings were hurt, and the situation had escalated to the point where I was expected to step in, take sides, and resolve the issue.
The cause of the conflict? A dispute over the rules for the door decorating contest.
Yes, you read that correctly. Tensions flared over how much construction paper could be used and whether certain decorations extended too far beyond the doorframe.
In the moment, the frustration and emotions felt monumental. Looking back now, it seems so minor. But haven’t we all been there? A disagreement that feels massive at the moment but later reveals itself as a molehill instead of a mountain?
The challenge for Christian educators isn’t just about resolving conflicts but doing so in a way that reflects grace, wisdom, and love. So how do we move forward without leaving behind hardened hearts and hurt feelings?
- Reflect on the Bigger Picture
Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in your sight, O Lord, my rock and my redeemer. Psalm 19:14, ESV
When emotions run high, it’s easy to lose perspective. Take a moment to step back and ask yourself, Why is this bothering me so much? What perspective am I missing? What might the other person be feeling? Reflection invites us to pause and seek God’s wisdom, helping us avoid snap judgments and instead respond with empathy and understanding.
- Seek Insight from Others
Where there is no guidance, a people falls, but in an abundance of counselors there is safety. Proverbs 11:14, ESV
Sometimes we’re too close to a situation to see it clearly. Seeking the counsel of a trusted friend or mentor can help provide clarity. But the key is being willing to hear the truth, even if it’s uncomfortable. In this particular situation, it took honest conversations for all parties to recognize their roles in the conflict. True resolution often starts with humility and a willingness to admit where we’ve fallen short.
- Pursue Peace and Let It Lead
And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body. And be thankful. Colossians 3:15, ESV
In the end, a decision was made, and everyone took a step back. Deep breaths were taken, and we moved forward—together. Peace doesn’t mean everyone gets their way, but it does mean choosing unity over division. When we allow the peace of Christ to guide us, we create space for healing and restoration.
Whether it’s a door decorating contest or something more significant, conflicts inevitably arise. As Christ-followers, our response is what sets us apart. Reflect, seek insight, and pursue peace—these steps can help us navigate even the messiest of situations with grace.
And when the dust settles, let’s keep our eyes on the bigger picture: the relationships God has entrusted us with are far more valuable than any contest, rule, or fleeting disagreement.
2 Responses
So good. I’ve been hurt more in Christian education than any other job I’ve had. We all need to take a step back and focus on the true goals, keep open communication and be willing to give and receive feedback.
Melissa, thank you for sharing your perspective and I am so sorry for your own experiences. Your suggestions are great reminders of what we can all do in difficult situations.