- What do you do when you’ve led with grace and truth, but a difficult parent situation still doesn’t end well? How can a principal find peace and maintain relationships when a parent disagrees with consequences or deflects responsibility for a child’s behavior?
First, thank you for leading from a place of grace and truth, even when it isn’t easy. The fact that you’re asking this question tells me your heart is in the right place. These are the moments that rarely make the highlight reels of leadership, but truly shape us the most.
When we lead with both grace and truth, we’re choosing a path filled with tension. Grace calls us to empathy; truth calls us to accountability. And sometimes, even when we walk that path faithfully, others may not be ready to meet us there. That doesn’t mean you failed. It simply means restoration takes time.
Through my own leadership experience, I’ve learned that reconciliation is not always immediate, and peace doesn’t always look like agreement. Romans 12:18 reminds us, “If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.” Notice that last part—as far as it depends on you. You are responsible for your words, tone, and integrity—not for how others receive them.
Practically, here are a few steps that have helped me when situations remain unresolved:
- Pause and pray before responding again. Sometimes silence is stewardship, not avoidance.
- Document clearly and consistently. Keeping records brings clarity when emotions rise.
- Maintain professionalism in every encounter. Even if things feel awkward, your steady presence communicates safety and maturity.
- Seek wise counsel. A mentor, superintendent, or faith-based leadership community (like Christian Educators) can help you discern your next steps.
And finally, release it. Hand over what you can’t control and ask God to redeem what you can’t repair. Leadership often means planting seeds of understanding that may not bloom until long after the conflict has passed.
You’ve done what you can—and that’s enough. Keep showing up with compassion anchored in conviction. The peace you seek may not come from their response, but from your obedience.
Have you faced a situation where grace and truth didn’t lead to immediate peace? How did you find the strength to keep leading with love?
Please share in the comments below—your story might be what another leader needs to hear today!
This bi-monthly blog, written by principal Jessica Cabeen, answers teachers’ tough and unfiltered questions about administration with honesty, transparency, and a heart for unity.
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