- I am having a hard time fitting in on my new team. I have tried to share ideas in meetings, join them for lunch, and connect, but it feels like they already have their team, and I am not fitting in—can you help me think of some other ways to connect?
Starting with a new team is never easy. Even when people aren’t intentionally excluding you, it can feel like everyone else already has history and you’re trying to find your place. It takes time to build a connection, and it’s normal to feel a little on the outside at first.
You’ve already taken important steps by showing up, sharing ideas, and trying to connect. Keep going with small, steady efforts such as:
- Focusing on one-on-one connections rather than big group moments.
- Leading with curiosity—ask how your colleagues have done things in the past before offering your ideas.
- Noticing and affirming the good you see in others. A genuine compliment can go a long way.
If the feeling of being left out continues, it’s okay to let your principal know. You might say, “I want to contribute more fully to the team, but I’m struggling to connect. Do you have suggestions for how I can build stronger relationships?”
Often, principals can help bridge those connections.
Most of all, remember that your value doesn’t depend on instant acceptance. A sense of belonging is built over time through consistency, kindness, and showing up as yourself.
Have you ever struggled to find your place on a new team? What helped you build trust and belonging?
Share your encouragement or story in the comments so others can be uplifted.
This bi-monthly blog, written by principal Jessica Cabeen, answers teachers’ tough and unfiltered questions about administration with honesty, transparency, and a heart for unity.
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