You’re not alone. Many educators have felt stuck between a leader’s vision and the reality they model. It’s disappointing and can be easy to become cynical. But as Christian educators, we’re called to respond with discernment and grace, not bitterness.

One way to move forward? Ask, don’t assume.

If the relationship allows, consider scheduling a one-on-one meeting. Come with a specific example and gently ask how they saw themselves engaging in that situation. For example:

“You mentioned the need for tough conversations. I noticed [specific situation], and I’d love to understand how you saw that moment as an example of leading those conversations.”

Sometimes what feels like avoidance to us might have been a hard conversation for them or something they thought they were modeling differently. This kind of dialogue can build mutual understanding and lessen frustration.

And who knows, your conversation might even spark a bigger idea: a shared framework for how your staff engages in hard discussions—whether in person, online, or challenging team dynamics.

As Jesus reminds us in Matthew 7:5, we should start with self-reflection before offering correction. But we also should not shy away from truth—Ephesians 4:15 calls us to speak the truth in love.

I’ll be exploring this exact tension in my Rise Up 2025 conference session, “Before You Speak: Biblical Ground Rules for Hard Conversations.” We’ll dig into how humility and boldness can go hand in hand—and why Christ-centered communication matters more than ever.

Have you had to navigate this kind of disconnect in leadership? How did you stay grounded in truth and grace?

Let’s learn from one another—drop your story or encouragement in the comments below.