Have mercy on me, O God, according to your unfailing love; according to your great compassion blot out my transgressions. Wash away all my iniquity and cleanse me from my sin. For I know my transgressions, and my sin is always before me. Against you, you only, have I sinned and done what is evil in your sight; so you are right in your verdict and justified when you judge […] Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me. Do not cast me from your presence or take your Holy Spirit from me. Restore to me the joy of your salvation and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me. Then I will teach transgressors your ways, so that sinners will turn back to you. Psalm 51:1-4, 10-13, NIV

I messed up, big time.

My friend and colleague, a non-believer whom I’d been witnessing to, praying for, and who had even come to church with me for a time, had seen me accept things that should be unacceptable to a Christian. 

We were at an event together for the weekend, and some folks said things that should have caused me to get up and walk out. Anticipating that this might happen, I had even told my friend ahead of time that I might need to leave early for this reason. And yet, there I was, cringing at times…but staying there until the end. 

The next day, I was pressed with conviction of what a terrible witness and example I had set for my seeking friend. Ugh. 

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. Romans 8:28 

The enemy, on the other hand, can also try to use all things…to destroy those who love God and are called according to His purpose, to derail us from that purpose!

If the enemy can get us to feel like we’ve failed so grandly that we can’t possibly come back from it—that God can’t possibly use such a person anymore—then he has successfully taken a soldier out of the ranks. He is subtly depleting the infantry one person at a time. 

But what is required to be a faithful soldier in the army of God? God does not expect or require that we be perfect; He asks that we be humble and willing. 

David messed up big time—several times—and yet God used his lineage to establish the throne of Christ. God loved David even in spite of his significant failings. David, a man who was far from morally immaculate, is famously remembered in Scripture as “a man after God’s own heart.” How can this be?

This is something I’ve wrestled with for a long time. And God, in His wisdom, used my own moral failing to kill my pride and teach me what it meant to be contrite before the Lord—to be repentant and desiring reconciliation with God. The forgiveness of God is a testament to His grace, mercy, and patience. 

“The Lord looks at the heart (1 Samuel 16:7),” and even though “the heart is deceitful above all things, and beyond cure (Jeremiah 17:9),” God, Who is perfection Himself, does not require or desire perfection from us. Rather, as David says, “My sacrifice, O God, is a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart you, God, will not despise (Psalm 51:17).” 

Praise the Lord! While I can’t always be perfect…being broken, repentant, contrite, and humble before the Lord…those are things I can be. 

Now I realize that this situation has given me an opportunity with my friend: to apologize to her for my moral failure to act as a Christian should…and to explain more to her about this great God who forgives us and loves us anyway. 

David failed—a lot—and God still used him mightily. Take heart, Christian soldier: He’s not done using you yet, either. 

O, Lord, I echo these words of David: create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me. Have mercy on me according to your unfailing love; according to your great compassion blot out my transgressions. God, You have shown me that my ways are not Your ways and Your thoughts are not my thoughts. You can do all things, and You can use all things for Your glory. Hallelujah! May it always be so in my life. God, please use both my successes AND my failures to bring glory to Your name. Thank You, Jesus, for Your patience and Your unending love. In Jesus’ name I pray, Amen.   

Copyright Rhapsody Jordan-Parisi. 

Rhapsody is a Christian Educators member and high school English teacher from North Carolina. She is passionate about helping overwhelmed teachers reclaim their time and peace of mind through support, encouragement, and intentional strategies. You can connect with her at tightropeteaching.com.